


No Homo

by ooglywoogly



Series: Baekxing is Real [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, BaekXing, Blowjobs, Canon Compliant, First chapter is SFW, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, baekhyun is the village bicycle, handjobs, this fic is from yixing's POV kinda? its yixing-centric, yixing is an awkward virgin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 22:04:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6168340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ooglywoogly/pseuds/ooglywoogly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yixing explores his sexuality, with the help of Baekhyun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Yixing's Bisexual Crisis

Yixing groggily opens his eyes as he’s shaken awake by Little Secretary sitting beside him. He looks out the tiny airplane window and, seeing concrete instead of clouds, concludes that they’ve landed back in Korea. He yawns, switches his phone out of airplane mode, and grabs the bag under the seat in front of him.

While his personal studio is for the benefit of both EXO and himself, he can’t help but feel guilty that he can’t spend as much time with the other members. He just wants what’s best for everyone, even if it means some people call him selfish. He tries not to let it get to him, but it does. He’s too afraid of disappointing people. If only they knew how much he really misses the rest of his members. Sure, he has fun with his co-workers when he’s filming, and his Go Fighting geges have taught him much more than anyone outside of his own blood relatives; but there’s something about the brotherhood of EXO that he can’t get anywhere else. They work hard together, have fun together, and can just be themselves together. They don’t judge each other for anything, and you can really tell that everyone cares for one another. Like family. Like brothers. There’s a level of comfort there that soothes Yixing’s soul and eases his loneliness.

Aiyo, his loneliness. He tries not to think about it, but it’s always in the back of his mind. He's pretty inexperienced when it comes to relationships; he's only really ever had one serious girlfriend (that he had to leave behind when he moved to Korea to become a trainee). He solidly holds on to the idea that sometime in the future, he'll find a girl who's perfect for him, and they'll be happy together forever. He’s in no rush, it’s more a classic hopeless romanticism.

His fellow EXO members are more or less in the same boat, lonliness-wise. They’re all so damn busy, they just really don’t have the time to be dating around. And as celebrities, the constant cameras instill a fear that anything they do will become a "scandal". So that’s nine of them, all together, all lonely. But it goes beyond romantic frustration. They’re boys in their 20’s, so it’s natural that they crave physical affection. They need an outlet for just wanting to touch someone, so they all use each other. It’s normal to snuggle up with friends on the couch or hold hands. It’s not uncomfortable for them to shower together (I mean, they all share bathrooms, It just saves time), or pat each other on the butts, or kiss each other on the cheek or neck.

It’s not gay, or anything, don’t get the wrong idea. They are all men, after all. Nothing weird going on.

Even when Yixing catches people kissing on the lips, or sleeping in the same bed, or spending too long in the shower together. It’s fine. Tons of guy friends are like this. Just guys being dudes. Right?

Especially Baekhyun. That boy really loves to smooch and touch the other members. People would probably call him flirty, if he was a girl. But he isn’t. He’s a guy. But it’s still fine. He’s not gay. They aren’t gay.

Even when other members would spend the night in Baekhyun’s room and Yixing could hear the bed creaking.

They were probably just messing around, it’s fine.

It’s fine.

 

It was late by the time Yixing finally got to the dorms, and switching time zones jumped 12:00 AM to 1:00 AM. A few of the members were still up by the time he got there-- Chanyeol, Junmyeon, Jongdae, Minseok, and Baekhyun. They greeted each other warmly, gave hugs, and talked to Yixing for a while about his activities in China and the work they were doing for their comeback. Junmyeon left first, as he’d only stayed up late to greet Yixing and make sure he’d come home safely. They didn’t pressure him to keep talking, since he was basically falling asleep right there. Chanyeol and Minseok left later, making sure to pat Yixing on the back a few times before heading off to their rooms. Yixing, Jongdae, and Baekhyun were the only ones left, still chatting in the dim lighting of the cozy living room, sharing a couch with Yixing in the middle.

“It’s almost 3 AM, shouldn’t you two get to bed?” Yixing asked sweetly. For someone who isn’t great at prioritizing his own health, he’s quite concerned about the well-being of the other members.

“Nah, I’m fine!” Baekhyun assured, with Jongdae agreeing. “I mean, you’re probably more tired than we are.”

“No, no, really, I slept on the plane, and I’m reverse-jetlagged. Because of time zones. But you guys don’t have to stay up and talk to me, we can keep talking tomorrow.”

“It’s just been a while since we got to talk in person. But if you’re tired, I don’t wanna keep you up, really,” Jongdae said. “Are you sure you’re not tired?”

Instead of just brushing it off, Yixing actually thought about it. The question hit him harder than it should have. He stared for a bit and sighed.

“Ahhh, see!” Jongdae said, poking him in the arm, the corners of his mouth curling.

"You can’t lie to us, Yixing,” Baekhyun chirped, patting Yixing on the leg. “Get on to bed!”

“No, no, it’s… it’s not my eyes that are tired.”

Both Jongdae and Baekhyun “Aaaahhh”’d in unison. “Overworked, huh?” Jongdae asked, with Baekhyun nodding and saying “A tired soul” softly and with an exaggerated sigh.

Yixing didn’t really like talking about it, but it was true. He WAS overworked. He DID have a tired soul. 

“I mean… it’s worth it, but it wears me out. Y’know?”

“I ~do~ know,” Baekhyun replied, his “do” reaching the same high pitch as Yixing’s rhetorical question. Yixing silently wished that Baekhyun wouldn’t be so mocking when they were talking about something so serious, but he knew that it was just his way of trying to lighten up the mood, so he didn’t take it personally.

“I’m just glad I can see you guys again. It’s really been so long, and I feel bad for never being around,” Yixing said, head lowering.

Baekhyun put his hand on Yixing’s shoulder, quickly consoling him. “Nonono, please, don’t feel bad about that. I mean, you’re basically doing all the work of EXO-M now!”

“I guess… I just feel like that’s especially scary to me since… y’know, the other Chinese members have all left, and I don’t want other people to think I’m going to leave, too. I feel a kind of burden that I have to carry.”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrowed, his demeanor making the switch from teasing to serious. “Well, we all appreciate you hyung, really. You can’t be so concerned about what other people think of you. It’s part of being an idol. There are people that matter to you in your life, and you listen to those people. The people that don’t like you, that don’t know you, you don’t owe anything to them.”

  
Yixing appreciated the kind words, but he was still concerned. “It’s the people that are close to me that I worry about disappointing the most. The fans that love me, my mother, my family. They put so much into supporting me, and I guess I just want to be good enough for them.”

Baekhyun clicked his tongue against his teeth in protest. “Yixing, you ARE good enough. Your family and your fans, they love you because they’re proud of you. And they’re never going to stop loving you, no matter what. I mean… you can be determined to work hard, but you shouldn’t let something like this worry you so much. Right, Jongdae?”

They both looked over at Jongdae, who was fast asleep.

“Haha! Guess he was lying when he said he wasn’t tired, too,” Baekhyun said smirking, reaching out to shake him awake.

“Wait, don’t, we shouldn’t wake him up,” Yixing whispered, grabbing Baekhyun’s arm.

“You’re too nice. Do you wanna talk in my room?”

Yixing thought about Minseok in his room, a light sleeper. Baekhyun roomed by himself, ever since he moved out from Junmyeon and Sehun’s room. It was surprising even one person could live in that mess, let alone two.

“If you don’t mind,” Yixing whispered, getting up slowly as to not move the couch too much. He wasn’t used to talking about such personal things with Baekhyun, but he needed to vent, and he trusted him. Baekhyun was always so kind and understanding about his concerns. He whispered goodnight to Jongdae as they made their way out of the living room, turning out the light. They meandered down the dark hallway, Yixing following the vague shadow of the younger boy in front of him.

When they got to the room, Baekhyun plopped down at the pillow end of his bed, and patted the opposite side. Yixing sat on it politely, putting his hands on his knees. Baekhyun leaned over and grabbed a half-eaten bag of chips off his bedside table.

“Don’t mind me eating, I just have to do something with my mouth or I won’t shut up and I’ll talk over you. I’m not a great listener, haha. You want some?” he offered, holding the bag up.

Yixing declined politely, and watched Baekhyun pop a chip into his mouth. Yixing twiddled his fingers a little. While he did need to get his feelings out and appreciated Baekhyun taking measures to be a better listener, he wished he’d be more of his talkable self at the moment to break the awkwardness and get the conversation rolling again. It was funny, the role reversal.

“So, I guess I’ve just got a lot on my mind, recently.”

“Do you do anything to just let it out? Like, when there are things too complicated or personal to talk to someone about, I do hapkido. It sounds kinda violent, but throwing people around and kicking things is just good for letting out stress. Or if I have time, I’ll play video games. Those are a pretty good distraction. Oh, wait, sorry, you’re supposed to be talking,” Baekhyun stammered while stuffing chips into his mouth.

“It’s okay! Hmmm.. I guess I write songs,” Yixing said, thinking about how into it he’d get trying to perfect compositions. It’d be like there was nothing else in the world at that moment but what the song sounded like, losing hours in it. He could put his feelings into it in a more abstract way, and so it was a good outlet.

“See, there you go! What are your songs about?”

“Oh, uh… I’m not that great at writing lyrics,” Yixing admitted. “It’s more about the tu-”  
“Still, the lyrics are an easier way to tell what the song is about, right?” Baekhyun interrupted. Yixing disagreed, but Baekhyun was vocal line, so he knew where he was coming from.

“Well… about love, mostly.”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows shot up. “Aaaahhhh…. of course!” He nodded to himself, as if this was a difficult case to crack. “Of course. Loneliness, huh?”

“Yeah,” Yixing said sheepishly, like he was embarrassed. “It’s just hard sometimes.” And then it all stumbled out. “Wanting someone to go out to dinner with, to write songs for, to snuggle up with… someone whose shoulder you can lean on when you’re tired. Someone that you really love, so much that they mean the world to you, and you can just be happy together. Like… like that.”

“Wow, quite the hopeless romantic, huh?” Baekhyun said, mouth full of chips.

“You could say that,” Yixing said scratching the back of his neck. “It just seems like such a big deal, finding someone so important to spend the rest of your life with.”

“You know, not everyone you date has to be the love of your life, or the one you’re gonna marry and have kids with. You can date people just to take them out places, and to smooch. Not everything has to be so serious.”

“I guess so.”   
Yixing contemplated. Maybe he WAS taking it too seriously. He wasn’t sure how comfortable he would be just dating around for fun, but it would probably make him feel less lonely, even if it was just temporary.

Baekhyun continued. “I know you have a big soft heart, so you may feel shallow just dating someone to snuggle them, but really, people have relationships like that all the time. *I* have relationships like that all the time. You don’t even have to date someone to make out with them, y’know.”

This was an entirely new world to Yixing. He and Baekhyun were really on opposite ends of the spectrum. But Baekhyun seemed a lot more satisfied in the “personal relationships” department than Yixing, so he listened to his advice.

Baekhyun tossed the now empty chip bag aside. “Hell, you can snuggle with me right now, if you want.”

Yixing looked at Baekhyun, and the younger boy opened his arms. While it seemed like a joke, Baekhyun’s face seemed to say that it was a legitimate offer. Yixing accepted. They’d snuggled before, of course. All the members snuggle each other, really. Yixing laid beside Baekhyun and wrapped his arms around his torso, resting his head against his shoulder.

Yixing thought about what Baekhyun said, about having flings. He thought it was a pretty good idea, but he didn’t know if he could go through with it. Especially when you’re an idol, and everything you do becomes everyone else’s business. He was grateful for times like this, when no cameras or press was around, and he could cuddle with his bandmate without anyone thinking anything of it.

“Thank you ah, I really needed this,” Yixing said with a small sigh. He really, really did. It had been too long since he’d been that close to another person.

“I get it, I get it,” Baekhyun affirmed, patting him on the back.

“You guys really do help me. With the loneliness, I mean.”

“We help each other,” Baekhyun corrected.

“Yeah. It’s nice.”

“It is nice.”

It was quiet, but it wasn’t awkward. Yixing lay there, feeling the heat of the boy under him. He was soft, and he smelled good. Everything was warm and pleasant. He felt sleepy, content. He looked up at Baekhyun, shooting him a thankful dimpled smile.

And then Baekhyun leaned over and kissed Yixing on the lips.  
Much longer than a peck. Deeper. I mean, REALLY kissed him.

It took Yixing a few seconds to react, and he sat up and locked eyes with Baekhyun. He stared. Others would have thought Yixing was just blanking out, but Baekhyun knew that that was just the face he made when he was thinking. You could almost hear the gears turning in his head.

“Baekhyun,” he finally said.

Baekhyun leaned in, closing his eyes, towards Yixing’s lips again.

“Wh- uh, Baekhyun,” Yixing, said, jerking his head back and dodging Baekhyun’s second kiss.

“Oh, uh… sorry, I, uh… I misunderstood your… comfort level,” Baekhyun said, embarrassed.

“It’s… um…. it’s okay,” Yixing said, slowly putting his head back down on Baekhyun’s shoulder.

He wiggled a little to get back in place. Felt the warmth, felt the soft fabric of his shirt.

But it didn’t feel the same.

It was weird now.

  
Yixing sat up in bed. “Uhhh... It's late, I should go to bed,” he proposed as casually as he could manage. A reasonable enough excuse.

“Wait, stop,” Baekhyun said, grabbing Yixing’s arm. “Look, I don’t want things to be awkward between us, so… I’m sorry."

"It's okay," Yixing said, sounding just as apologetically as Baekhyun had.

"I just thought…” Baekhyun shrugged. “I mean, you told everyone on national television that you liked feeling my butt.” Baekhyun laughed, but it was a nervous laugh. An “I’m trying to joke so that this is less tense” laugh.

“Yeah, but I mean… I’m not… I’m not gay,” said Yixing, voice lowering at the “gay” part. His thoughts started to settle in. “And… and I didn’t know you were! What about Taeyon? And you talk about other girls, so I didn’t…”

Baekhyun laughed. A real laugh this time.  
“Dude, a person can like girls AND boys.”

Yixing stared. His thinking face again.

He figured that, but he never actually… thought about it before. To be honest, Yixing knew jack shit about anything having to do with “that stuff”. In fact, he pretty much avoided thinking about it. To him, it was inconceivable. He didn’t know anyone that was “like that”, and he himself certainly wasn’t “like that”. No, of course not.

Well, shit.  
Maybe.

“How do you know… like… if you’re… y’know,” Yixing asked slowly, asking Baekhyun to fill in the blanks.

“Bisexual?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you asking me how I know, or are you asking me how one knows?”

“The…” Yixing rubbed the back of his neck. “The second one.”

“Well. Do you like girls?”

“Yes!”

“Great. Do you like boys?”

A pause.

“...I don’t know. How do I know?”

Baekhyun laughed again. The precious thing.

“All that stuff you said before. Someone to eat dinner with and write songs for and snuggle and whatever. Could you do that with a boy?”

Yixing put his face in his hands and let out a frustrated groan. “Auugh, I don’t know!”

But he did know. He could. He’d just never considered it before. No one had ever asked.   
“Maybe! Aiyo, I try to ease my stress by talking it out, and now I have even more things to be stressed about!”

“Don’t think too hard about it! It’s okay, really,” Baekhyun said reassuringly, putting his hand on Yixing’s arm. Yixing didn’t stop him. He was still a touchy guy, even when he was on edge. He appreciated the gesture.

“Have you really never thought about this before?” Baekhyun asked.

“No! Never.” Yixing’s brow was furrowed. “Where I grew up, this kind of thing isn’t okay. I guess I always just… brushed it off. I just kept telling myself everything was fine.”

“Well, it IS fine,” Baekhyun said. He would normally be offended, but the little sheep he was working with didn’t even know bisexuality existed until minutes ago, so he let it slide.   
“I know you come from a place where straight is the norm and everything else is frowned upon, but those people are wrong. It isn’t right to judge people for things like that. Things they can’t control, things they’re born with. I guess I was lucky since I’ve known since I was younger, I didn’t have to go through a crisis like this; but you’ve gotta learn how to be comfortable with yourself regardless of what other people think. Remember what I said earlier? The people that matter, the people that love you, they’ll understand. And the people that don’t know you? That don’t matter? That think they have a right to tell you shitty things just because they have an opinion? Fuck ‘em.”

Yixing sat for a minute, letting Baekhyun’s words sink in. But they didn't make him feel any better. God, he was gay. Well, bisexual. But still, he liked boys. He liked boys _that way_. Or, well, he could. His mind wasn't making the distinction at the moment. His mind was going a mile a minute, and soon, so was his mouth.  
“That may be easy for you to say, but it’s not so easy for me! Especially being an idol, everyone has a lens held up to you at all times. And my mother… oh, wǒ de tiān na, my mother! My FATHER! What will my family think? Do I even tell them? Oh, Baekhyunie, I’m gonna pass out,” Yixing said exasperatedly, his hands going all over the place as he spoke.  
  
“Yixing, get a hold of yourself!” Baekhyun said, shaking his shoulders. “It’s okay, really! Look at me. It’s okay.”  
  
“It’s not okay!” Yixing said, semi-shouting. It was still late, and he was trying to be quiet. Baekhyun, on the other hand, didn’t give a fuck about trying to be quiet. Not that he ever does.

“Okay, fine. It may not be okay right now, but it’ll be okay soon. You’ll get through this. We all do. I know you feel lost right now, and scared. But I promise, once you’ve settled down-- even though people are going to be nasty, even though you’ll feel a new weight you have to bear-- you’re going to feel a lot more comfortable with yourself than you ever have. Instead of brushing off all the thoughts you aren’t ‘supposed to’ have, you can just think them. Won’t that be freeing? To just be yourself? I promise, Yixing, I promise. It won’t be easy. But it’s okay. It’s okay to be you, just the way you are.”

Yixing looked in Baekhyun’s eyes. They were stern and warm at the same time. They were hopeful. He was serious, probably more serious than he’d ever been in his entire life.

Yixing thought about what the younger boy had said. Instead of just brushing them off, he really took them in this time.   
He was going to be okay, he wasn't alone, it was okay.

And with that, Yixing broke down and cried.

It was an ugly cry. It caught Baekhyun a little off guard, but he expected it eventually, with how sensitive the older boy is. “Oh, Yixing, come here,” he cooed, opening his arms. Yixing fell into them. They stayed there for a minute or two, just holding each other tight. Baekhyun could feel his shirt getting a little wet. Yixing was shaking, taking in deep breaths. And sniffling horribly, trying to be mindful not to get snot on the torso he was stuck to. Baekhyun just held him, petting him on the back of the head until he calmed down.

“Sorry, sorry,” Yixing said, sniffling and wiping his nose on the back of his hand. “I just kinda got overwhelmed.”

“It’s fine, I get it,” Baekhyun said. “I know you’ve got a tender heart.”

Yixing smiled weakly but warmly, dimple dotting his soft cheek, his eyes still pink and puffy.  
Baekhyun looked at him like this and wanted nothing more in the world than for this sweet boy to never have to deal with any negativity for the rest of his life.

“Thank you,” Yixing said softly, still sniffling a little. “For helping me. And listening to me.”

Baekhyun yawned. “Don’t mention it.”

There was a bit of silence as Yixing rubbed his eyes. He was exhausted.

“Baekhyun… can I sleep here tonight?” Yixing asked in a small voice, like a child asking to sleep in his parent’s bed after he had a nightmare.

“Of course. Scoot over though, I need leg room.”

Yixing turned around to face the wall, and Baekhyun spooned him from behind, wrapping his arms around his middle.

“Goodnight,” Yixing said sweetly.

“Goodnight hyung,” Baekhyun parroted back mockingly. He kissed Yixing lightly on the back of the neck and watched him recoil.

“Ahhh, not the neck!”

“You say that like I did it on accident,” Baekhyun said, and Yixing could hear the smirk in his words even if he couldn’t see it.

 

“Baekhyunie?”

“Mmmhmm”

“Is this-- Y’know, is this gay?”

“Does it matter?”

Yixing sat still a while.

“No.”

It doesn’t.


	2. In which the sex happens

The next morning, everything operated as usual. The boys got up, grabbed breakfast, and commuted to the training studios with their managers. They were practicing choreo for one of the songs off some future album. It’s always tough in the beginning stages, trying to memorize timing. Luckily for Yixing, it came a lot more naturally than some of the other members. Chanyeol and Jongdae, for example, sometimes need a little more guidance, but Yixing or Jongin are always willing to help.

Considering the emotional breakdown that happened last night, Yixing was doing just fine. It helped that he could dance away most of his thoughts, but they still popped up in the back of his head. To everyone else, this was just a normal day; but to Yixing, it was completely different.

In the mirror this morning, he said it to himself. Just to make it seem a little more real.  
“I’m bisexual.”  
It felt weird. He wasn’t used to it yet.  
He hoped he would be, soon.

The only other person that knew was Baekhyun. And besides that, Yixing knew something about Baekhyun, too. Did the other members know Baekhyun wasn’t straight? Yixing had his eyes on Baekhyun more than usual today, and he couldn’t stop analyzing everything he did around the other members. Sitting in Chanyeol’s lap while they ate lunch, playfully shaking his butt in front of Sehun, making kissy faces to Jongdae across the room. He always played around like this. But this time, Yixing couldn’t shake it off with a “but we aren’t gay, so it’s okay”.

Yixing thought about it, but he didn’t know what to think about it.

When they got home, it was late. They were exhausted. The boys paired up to shower, to save time, except Yixing. He mostly showered alone, because he was so shy, but sometimes when it was necessary he’d pair up with the members he felt most comfortable around.  
Like Baekhyun.  
But Yixing was especially nervous that day, and so he showered last. He wouldn’t feel right seeing one of his friends naked the day after realizing he liked boys. Not that anything would happen. He just didn’t know exactly how to come to terms with the fact that he wouldn’t look at boys the same way. The shower water was cold, but he didn’t mind. It felt good. Refreshing. Cleansing.

On the way back to his room, Yixing ran into Baekhyun in the hallway, and stopped him.

“Hey, can we talk in your room again?”

“Sure,” Baekhyun said, taking a sip from the soda he got in the kitchen. He pat Yixing on the butt, herding him towards his doorway.

They both sat in the same positions as last night, with Yixing sitting on the end of the bed, feet on the floor, and Baekhyun sitting on the opposite end with his pillow propped up against his back. Yixing stared at his hands. He didn’t want to make a lot of eye contact during this conversation.

“So… Baekhyun…”

“Yeah? What’s up? More questions about your sexuality?” 

“Well… yours, actually. I was just wondering… you’re always so… playful, with the other members. How do you get that comfortable around them?” Yixing asked shyly.

“What do you mean? You were too. You love patting everyone on the butt, and kissing their cheeks, all that stuff.”

“Yeah but… it’s different now. I don’t touch girls like that, I’m too nervous.”

“It’s the same as when you thought you were straight, dude. They’re just friends, it doesn’t have to be flirting. Well, I mean…” Baekhyun quickly cleared his throat. “Whatever. You just get used to it the more you do it.”

“I guess that’s it, then,” Yixing said, nodding his head slightly. “I’ve barely even kissed girls, and of course I’ve never kissed a boy before.”

Baekhyun chuckled.

“Wh...what? Don’t laugh, I-” Yixing stammered, embarrassed.

“No, no, it’s just… I guess you don’t count last night, huh?” Baekhyun said.

It took him a second. “Oh. Right. Sorry,” Yixing said, his face turning red. “I can count that.”

He sat there, remembering. It wasn’t exactly unpleasant, it had just been surprising. Baekhyun’s lips were warm, and soft. Yixing looked at them again. Part of him wanted to ask for another one. He knew Baekhyun wouldn’t say no, but he decided it was a bad idea.

Baekhyun broke the awkward silence. “Y’know, it’s kinda funny. Now I’ve finally kissed everyone here,” he said, laughing proudly to himself.

Yixing nodded absentmindedly. An then his eyes widened, and then he snapped his head around to stare at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun smiled. “What?” he asked, in a cheeky tone. “There’s no way you couldn’t have-”

“What did you say!? Kissed everyone here? All the members?” Yixing looked around the room frantically. “Aiyo wei, kissed… kissed every… what the hell?”

Baekhyun tried _really_ not to laugh. “Chill out, man! Jesus. If you freak out this much over that, you’d pass out if you heard what else I’ve done.”

Yixing’s jaw dropped open, eyes piercing. He whispered gravely, somewhat innocently, “What else.”

The laugh Baekhyun had tried to hold back erupted. He was smacking the bed with his hand. “Oh my god, your face!”

Yixing jumped onto the bed, grabbing Baekhyun by the shoulders, shaking him. “What else, Baekhyun, what else!” He let go of Baekhyun as he saw the coy look on his face. “Oh god, don’t tell me. You’re kidding, right?”

“Yixing, listen to me. We’re a bunch of boys, brimming with hormones, and we don’t have time to date around. We have needs. Physical needs.”

Yixing’s mind was reeling. “Everyone… even Kyungsoo? Even Junmyeon?”

“Junmyeon’s the straightest guy here and I’ve still made out with him more than with you.”

Yixing thought about it all. The flirting, the kissing, the long showers, the creaking beds. Everyone here. He kept whispering “tiān na” over and over as he put his hand over his forehead. He felt dizzy. A paradigm shift, two nights in a row.

“Baekhyun how could you… and everyone knows? Everyone but me?”

“Yixing, please don’t take it personally. You can be very… naive, and… traditional.”

“So… okay. The-- you--” Yixing took a deep breath, composing himself. “You have sex with all of the members. Just for fun?”

“Well, I don’t have _sex_ sex with all of them. Just some. Some only want blowjobs, or handjobs, or only want to make out. Whatever their comfort level is. Whatever they need,” Baekhyun explained, shrugging his shoulders. Like it was the most casual, normal thing. Like he was explaining what brands of instant ramen each member preferred.

Yixing had never talked about anything so explicit in his life. He was flushed red. He hoped Baekhyun wouldn't make fun of him for it. He stared, like he does when he doesn’t know what to say.

“Yixing, be honest with yourself. We can all tell how sexually frustrated you are. You’re so touchy-feely, and you always grab your junk onstage, and oh my god, that dance move you do where you hump the floor. We make jokes about how much you’re probably enjoying all that 'alone time' in China,” Baekhyun said as Yixing looked mortified, “And all that is totally fine! Don’t be embarrassed, it’s normal to be pent up. But the other members, they can’t handle their sexual frustration as well as you. Remember, don’t take it too seriously. When we fool around, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s utilitarian. It’s for fun.”

Yixing had to admit, he could really use some no-strings-attached sex at this time in his life, now that he knew it existed. He was stressed and overworked, and god, Baekhyun hit the nail on the head, he was pent up as hell. So much so that, apparently, everyone else could tell, too.

Yixing thought about Baekhyun. His round cheeks, his soft lips, his long eyelashes. His body was toned and, it was true, his butt was very nice. He thought about Baekhyun’s pretty hands rubbing someone else’s boxers, Baekhyun’s mouth around someone else’s dick, Baekhyun’s legs spread open as someone else fucked him. And not just any someone else, a someone else that he knew. Sehun, Jongin, Jongdae, Chanyeol, any of them. It was wrong, he thought, to think about his members this way. So, so wrong. But oh, god, once he started he couldn’t stop. Especially when Baekhyun was sitting right in front of him. It was almost harder to breathe, like something was pressing down on his chest. And something else was definitely pressing against his boxer briefs.

Baekhyun lifted his hands up. “So, that’s what’s up. Whenever you wanna fool around, let me know.”

Yixing swallowed dryly.  
“What about right now?”

Baekhyun laughed and raised his eyebrows. “Right now? You really are just rarin’ to go, aren’t ya buddy?”

Yixing felt embarrassed and immediately retracted. “Sorry, sorry, we don’t have to, I just-”

“No, it’s fine, I just wasn’t expecting that. What do you wanna do?”

Everything, Yixing thought, before reeling it back a little. Maybe he should just take it slow. His sex drive certainly wanted as much as it could get, but he didn’t know if he was mentally prepared for it.

“Umm… I don’t know. I don’t really know about, like… any of this, y’know? Maybe you could...” He wanted to say “take control”, but he couldn’t get the words out of his mouth. It sounded too dirty. Which isn’t usually something someone making a sex proposition is concerned about.

“Be the lead?” Baekhyun suggested, unsure if that’s what Yixing was even asking.

“Ah, yes! The… lead.” Yixing scratched the back of his head and stared at the floor, cheeks burning.

“Okay. I’ll start by kissing you, and then I’ll keep going. If at any time you want to stop, just let me know and I’ll stop, okay?”

God, Yixing couldn’t believe this was happening. He had to remind himself that it was cool, normal, natural. Chill out, Yixing. You're a wolf, remember? You can do this.  
“Okay.”

Baekhyun got up onto his knees and turned Yixing so that his back was against the wall. He slung one leg over his lap so that he was straddling him, put one hand against the wall, and the other on Yixing’s shoulder.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Baekhyun asked. “Just making sure.”

“Please,” Yixing said, coming out a little more desperate than he wanted.

Baekhyun leaned in and pressed his lips against Yixing’s. Just like last night, but Yixing didn’t pull back this time. He was trying not to be too visibly nervous. His hands were shaking a little, and he kept them at his sides. His eyes were shut tight.

  
Baekhyun’s tongue made its way into Yixing’s mouth, and god, it felt good. Warm and wet, but in a pleasant way. Baekhyun grabbed Yixing’s hands and placed them at his hips. His own hand moved from Yixing’s shoulder up to cup his face.  
Yixing couldn’t remember the last time he made out with someone. His last girlfriend? He was probably around 16. Way too long.  
He was more relaxed by now, easing into the kiss. It was soft and slow. Baekhyun’s hand moved from Yixing’s cheek to the back of his head, and he pushed his hips farther into Yixing’s lap. The friction caught him off guard, and he let out a quiet high-pitched noise. He could feel Baekhyun smiling against his mouth.  
  
The hand Baekhyun was using to prop himself against the wall moved to the other boy’s shoulder, trailed down his chest, and up under the hem of his shirt. He grabbed it with both hands and lifted up, Yixing raising his arms to aid in the shirt removal. After tossing it on the floor, Baekhyun took his top off as well, and threw it on the floor alongside Yixing’s. Their lips joined together again, and Yixing put his hands back on Baekhyun’s hips, his thumbs grazing along the hipbones gently. Baekhyun’s slender fingers traced along the sides of Yixing’s abdomen, one hand moving down to palm the bulge in his sweatpants. Yixing bucked his hips up instinctively, and another noise made its way from his mouth to Baekhyun’s. Yixing grabbed at Baekhyun’s other hand to hold it, a surprisingly sweet and chaste gesture amid the lewdness of it all. Baekhyun broke the kiss to lift Yixing’s hand to his mouth, placing a finger against his lips, giving it a peck. He slipped it inside his mouth and sucked on it, causing Yixing to moan softly into his shoulder. Running his tongue along the underside, he felt Yixing's erection twitch against his thigh. He pulled it out, slick from saliva, and Yixing traced his thumb along Baekhyun’s jaw. He kissed him along the neck, gentle, light enough to tickle.

It was all so good, _so_ good. Touching someone else, having someone touch you. 

If he was unsure if he was into boys "that way" yesterday, he knew for sure now.

Yixing couldn't really believe Baekhyun was driving him crazy like this. Baekhyun, his friend, his bandmate, his coworker. He had to remind himself that this was just a thing friends did sometimes, apparently. No feelings attached. Just touching. What'd Baekhyun call it? Utilitarian.

Baekhyun tugged down on Yixing’s waistband, and the older boy helped him pull his sweatpants off, along with his boxer briefs. He shuffled back on his knees to meet Yixing's mouth with his again. It wasn’t the first time Baekhyun had seen Yixing’s dick before, but it was certainly the first time he was doing anything with it. His manicured fingers ran up and down its length, his thumb rolling around the head. Yixing rested his hand on the back of Baekhyun’s head and pressed his lips softly against his collarbone. Baekhyun wrapped his fingers around Yixing’s cock, pumping slowly. He lingered like this, working his fingers.

"Can I suck your dick?"

Yixing tried to say "yes" but instead he just whimpered. "Yeah." Nailed it on the second try.

Baekhyun got off his knees to lay down on his stomach, head between Yixing’s legs. He peppered his thighs with kisses. Yixing was painfully hard.

“You’ve got a really nice dick, y’know,” Baekhyun said, looking up at Yixing. “I’m jealous, honestly. But I’m just glad I finally get to touch it.”  
Yixing was too lost in it to say anything back.

Baekhyun gave Yixing’s cock a quick kiss, and then ran his tongue along the underside of his shaft. Yixing shuddered, exhaling shaky breaths. Baekhyun smiled, and sucked the head of his dick, making excessive use of his tongue. Warm, and soft, and wet, so wet. Yixing let out an “ah”, and placed his hand on the back of Baekhyun’s head.

“You’re… you’re really good at this,” Yixing choked out.

“Thanks. Lots of practice,” the younger boy said winking.   
The entire situation was still unbelievable, but Yixing really couldn’t care about anything other than how good it felt.

Baekhyun took in more and more, picking up the pace, going deeper; occasionally stopping to take a breath and kiss his balls. Yixing didn’t know what to do with his hands besides gently pet Baekhyun’s hair, so that’s what he did. Subtle encouragement.

Suddenly Baekhyun stopped, wiping the spit off his mouth with the back of his hand, and got up to pull open his bedside drawer. Yixing could see how hard Baekhyun was through his pants, and he felt dizzy.

“Oh, I’m, I didn’t… you can keep going,” Yixing stammered out, confused.

“I will, don’t worry, just hold on” Baekhyun said, dropping his pants and boxers to the floor. "I mean- shit, sorry, I should have asked. Can you fuck me? I honestly really need your dick in my ass right now."

Yixing envied how cool and collected Baekhyun seemed. Well, besides his ruffled hair and swollen lips and blown pupils. "Sure," he answered, voice sounding not even half as composed as Baekhyun's had been when he'd asked. "But, like... I mean, I've never..."

"Don't worry, I'll help you out."

Baekhyun pulled a bottle out from the bedside drawer, and tossed it onto the bed. He sat back on Yixing’s lap, and popped open the cap on the bottle, pouring a clear liquid onto his fingers.

“Please don’t laugh at me, but… what is that?” Yixing asked innocently. He figured it was something he should probably know, but he didn’t want to go into this confused.

Baekhyun held in his chuckle. He didn’t want to make Yixing feel bad. “It’s lube.”

“Oh… right,” Yixing said. He remembered hearing about lube, somehow. This was unfamiliar territory, and he was trying not to be lost, but it wasn’t his fault.

Baekhyun inserted a finger into himself and sighed. Yixing wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do while Baekhyun prepped himself, but he felt kind of awkward. He hoped this wouldn’t be… gross.

“Baekhyunie, can I… can I touch you?”

“Go right ahead,” Baekhyun said as he slipped another finger in.

Yixing had never touched a dick other than his own before, and you could definitely tell with how fumbly he was, but he was gentle and genuine, so it didn’t exactly feel unpleasant.

“I think I’m good,” Baekhyun said, pulling his fingers out and wiping them on the sheets. “You’re lucky I fucked Sehun in the shower this morning.”

“Baekhyun!” Yixing said in shock, but any further protests were lost in the noises he made when Baekhyun slowly lowered himself onto Yixing’s dick, sliding him inside.

“Hh...holy shit,” Yixing exhaled, gripping Baekhyun’s hips. It was tight, and hot, and it felt good, different from anything he’s ever felt.

“Are you doing okay?” Baekhyun asked, putting his weight on Yixing’s shoulders to more easily move himself up and down.

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice sounding embarrassingly high-pitched. “Are you okay?”

“I’m doing great. But don’t be afraid to be touchy.”

Yixing nodded shyly, and grabbed Baekhyun’s ass with both hands. They kissed, a lot more tongue this time.  
Baekhyun started to pick up the pace, and let out a loud moan.   
Yixing almost asked him to be quieter before he remembered that everybody already knows what goes on in this room anyway.

Yixing's eyes ran up and down Baekhyun as he rode him. He had started to jerk himself off, not trusting Yixing to get the job done. Baekhyun looked sinfully good, touching himself with a fucked-out expression, eyelids droopy and lips parted, the older boy's dick sliding in and out under him. Yixing could feel himself coming undone under Baekhyun, but pulled together all the restraint he could manage. It felt too good to end now.

“Ah… Yixing, hold on,” Baekhyun said, stopping and pulling Yixing out of him.

“Is everything okay?” Yixing asked, worry flashing across his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine. But I want you to be on top. Would you?”

Baekhyun laid onto his back, laying his head on the pillow, grabbing more lube off the bedside table. Yixing was nervous about being in control, but he eagerly obliged. Honestly, he'd do anything to get his dick back inside Baekhyun.

He slid back in, sighing as he felt the tightness around him again. He used one arm to prop himself up, and grabbed Baekhyun’s hip with the other.  
He went slow, afraid of hurting the smaller boy. His body was aching to go faster, deeper, harder, but he couldn’t really fathom what it felt like having a dick inside you, so he played it safe.  
He leaned down to kiss Baekhyun as he moved his hips against him. On the lips, on the jaw, on the neck. Sweet, gentle. To Baekhyun, painfully so.

“C’mon, don’t be scared."

"Huh?"

"I’ve seen what you can do with those hips when you dance,” Baekhyun joked. “Please,” he moaned, “Fuck me harder.”

The phrase send a shiver down Yixing's spine. He certainly couldn’t refuse when asked like that.  
So he tightened his grip on Baekhyun’s hip, and did as he was told.  
  
Yixing would have found the slapping sounds embarrassing if he didn’t find them incredibly hot. Skin on skin. His breathing was getting heavier, and he definitely wasn’t going to last long when he was grinding into Baekhyun like this. He put his elbows on either side of Baekhyun’s head, putting all his weight on them, thrusting harder and deeper into the younger boy under him. Baekhyun wrapped his legs tighter around Yixing, letting out breathy curses and encouragements. Some things Yixing's korean wasn't good enough to understand. It reminded him that he'd been cursing in Chinese the whole time. The both of them got louder and louder, Baekhyun stroking himself below Yixing, Yixing burying his face in Baekhyun’s neck. His hands grabbed at Baekhyun’s hair and his thrusts became off-rhythm. He was close, so close, grasping tightly to Baekhyun as he fucked him into the mattress.  
“Oh, fuck, Baekhyun, Baekhyun,” Yixing whined, desperate. He came inside of him, vision going dim, holding his breath. He exhaled all at once, as Baekhyun loudly finished beneath him, his cum painting both their chests. They laid there a while, catching their breath, Yixing’s face still nuzzled in Baekhyun’s neck.

He sat up eventually, looking at the cum dripping down both of them. He was pretty proud of himself, to be honest. He felt good. Damn good. He needed this way more than he thought he did.

“Thank you, Baekhyun. Really,” Yixing said lovingly. He kissed Baekhyun softly on the lips.

“It’s my pleasure,” Baekhyun reassured. “Although… could you pull out now?”

“O-oh! Sorry,” Yixing said, embarrassed. “I forgot. Oh, is it… is it okay that I… y’know, inside-”

Baekhyun chuckled. “Yeah, it’s okay. I’ll just have to clean myself up. But I have to anyway,” he said, pointing to his chest. “I’ll be right back, and I’ll bring a towel for you, too.”

“Thank you, Baekhyunie,” Yixing sung, a warm smile lighting up his face.  
Baekhyun kissed him on the dimple and left the room.

This was good, Yixing thought. The best, probably. He suddenly cursed himself for not somehow finding out about this sooner like everyone else had.

When Baekhyun came back, Yixing had put his boxer briefs back on, and was passed out on the bed. Baekhyun wiped the cum off his chest with the damp towel he’d brought in, and threw it on the floor to pick up later. He turned off the light, and got in bed next to Yixing. Baekhyun was the little spoon this time.

“Goodnight, Yixing hyung~” Baekhyun whispered in a sing-song voice.

“Goodnight, Baekhyun~” Yixing chirped back mockingly in the same tone.

“I thought you were asleep, you dork,” Baekhyun said, elbowing backwards.  
Yixing giggled, and kissed Baekhyun on the back of the neck.

 

 

The next day, Yixing pat his members’ butts when he thought they were doing a good job. He smooched Kyungsoo on the cheek when they were eating dinner in the kitchen. He snuggled up to Minseok on his bed when they were watching videos on his phone.

Was it gay? Maybe a little.

But it was fine.

They all loved each other, and were there for each other in a way more than friends were. Whatever that may entail.

And it was fine.

**Author's Note:**

> au where baekhyun doesnt make weird loud noises before he falls asleep lmao


End file.
